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Give a Little Love
by Eve A. Wood, MD
Illustration by Kate O'Leary
I’m grateful for the opportunity to share my musings with you every few months. My commitment to mtj and my readers to turn this quarterly column in on time, forces me to pause and reflect on where I am and on what matters. Every few months I take time to stop and think about what I’m learning, what I need to pay more attention to and what I have to share. Pausing to muse, reflect and put pen to paper can be so healing. Taking time to be with ourselves to write, journal and give voice to what moves us, calls to us or demands our attention can be so empowering. How often do you give yourself the gift of writing and reflecting? Might you benefit from doing it more often? I surely would!
Anyway, this month I’ve been thinking a lot about trauma, abuse and fear. I’ve been working with a lot of patients who were traumatized during their developmental years…and who have carried the pain, fear and dysfunctional patterns forward into their adult lives. I’ve been helping them recognize and honor the depth of their terror and suffering. And I’ve been visiting the reverberations of their early traumas in their current-day lives.
You see, we often replay what’s familiar, without realizing what we’re doing. So, we tend to recreate past traumas—reliving our pain and suffering again and again. With help and support, we can begin to recognize the patterns, figure out how they started, and learn how to chart a healthier course going forward.
But that healing process requires stepping into the horror, hurt, terror and panic of our past pain. And reliving it enough to feel the emotions we experienced when we were young, vulnerable children, just trying to survive and be loved. Many of us can only visit those overwhelming moments and places in our history if we have someone to partner with us, love us, guide us and support us through the process. It’s too scary and overwhelming to enter the dark cave of trauma alone.
So, in a figurative way, I’ve been walking hand-in-hand through a lot of dark caves lately. In doing so, I’ve been sharing the sadness and fear of many beautiful souls. I’ve been struck by how damaging we can be to one another—how parents can abuse and maim their children for decades. The emerging ego, soul and spirit are sensitive and highly vulnerable to trauma. They can be broken and pushed underground for years. I’ve seen that happen with many of my patients. I’ve visited lots of wounds and grief. But, in walking the caves with my patients, I’ve also observed and experienced the power of love, acceptance and care to heal overwhelming pain, abuse and trauma. I’ve been struck by the resiliency of the human spirit, and by our capacity to create our worlds anew with the dawning of each new day.
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American Massage Therapy Association®
