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10 Ways to Protect a Client's Modesty

Suggestion Practical Examples
Always address to what degree clients will dress/undress “I know many different massage techniques; some are directly on the skin and require oil, others that can be done clothed. Get undressed to the level you are comfortable.”
Don’t comment on the client’s body, even if it’s positive Don’t tell an athlete he or she has a good body, or comment about a person’s weight.
Don’t assume you understand body language correctly. If someone seems uncomfortable, or does something that raises concern, ask for feedback.
Be clear about your own boundaries. Don’t let the client’s behavior change your boundaries. Even if someone is comfortable disrobing in front of you, ask him or her to wait.
Do properly cover all sexual areas and use a proper weight of sheet. Don’t use sheets that have become too thin (and transparent). Likewise, if a sheet is too heavy, it might tent away from the body. Use the same draping for male and female clients.
Be careful about unintentional touch. Don’t lean your groin against the client’s head, or lean against the client’s hand.
Dress professionally. Female therapists—don’t wear anything that will expose cleavage when you lean over a client.
Don’t overdo the tucking. Using your hand to tuck covers around body parts and under a client’s body may be intrusive.
Ask for informed consent See www.sohnen-moe.com for free informed consent forms you can use when working on glutes, pecs or in the groin area.
Don’t allow judgments about modesty to creep into your instructions. Be careful not to make comments such as: “Most people undress all of the way.” “Don’t worry, I’m not going to do anything shady!”

Source: Interviews with Wendy Stone and Cherie Sohnen-Moe

To explore the interplay of boundaries, power and cultural sensitivity, let’s check in with a few therapists, teachers and consultants who have strong convictions about the continuing relevance of modesty.

Boundaries and Modesty

Wendy Stone, from the Cortiva Institute-Boston, believes that the issue of massage and modesty really boils down to having good boundaries.

“A client whose boundaries are crossed may never come back and you will never know why,” she says. Stone believes that a good starting point for honoring client boundaries is understanding the inherent power that you have in the client/therapist relationship. First and foremost, there is a power differential when it comes to information. Since the therapist is more knowledgeable, the client might hesitate to question the work being done. There is also a differential in position. For example, the therapist is standing and fully clothed, whereas the client is undressed and lying down.

When a client is prone, they can’t make eye contact, which inhibits communication. Stone believes it’s critical to look for ways to give clients power in the relationship. “We need to become good communicators and good readers of people,” Stone says. She believes that starts during intake—when you take the time to converse with clients before they are undressed and while they can still make eye contact. Stone says that this can be as simple as asking, “Are there any parts of your body you would prefer that I don’t touch?” and then keeping notes on their preferences.

She also employs her own body (rather than the client’s) to make sure they have a clear understanding. For instance, she’ll say, “I’d like to work this high up on your hips,” as she points at her own body. Or she’ll draw a line on her body showing them how far down she’ll fold the sheet, asking clients if they’re comfortable with those parameters.

When dealing with different generations (see sidebar, page 47), special populations or different cultures, Stone says you have to be particularly aware of power and boundary issues. To make sure she has a clear understanding with clients, Stone describes how she’ll proceed while getting informed consent. That may include language (depending on the client) such as:

  • What brings you here today? What are you hoping to get from today’s session?
  • What type of massage have you had? What was your experience like?
  • Here’s how I proceed. Does that sound like what you’re used to?

Stone lets clients know early in the interview that she tailors each massage to the client’s individual needs and preferences. And, by finding out a client’s previous experience, she can avoid repeating a negative experience, and take positive steps to reassure clients that she will honor their boundaries or preferences.

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